Mae Santes Dwynwen am achub Alan, Duw y Siagpeil, rhag y Frenhines Wen a Merched y Wawr.
— Bydd rhaid i ti ladd fi, medd Alan, sydd wedi ei strapio wrth gadair blastig.
— Beth? medd Santes Dwynwen.
— Rhaid i ti stwffio darn o garped i miwn i geg fi fel bo fi ddim yn gallu anadlu. Wrth i anadl fi stopo, bydd popeth yn OK.
— Nei di atgyfodi?
— Sai’mod, ond mae’n swno’n gyffrous, nag yw e?
— Sana i di dod i gyfarfod Merched y Wawr er mwyn bodloni dy droseddau bychain.
Yna, mae ysgrifenyddes y gangen Merched y Wawr, sy’ wedi cael hen ddigon o Alan a’i barablu, yn gwneud y gwaith ei hun, a thrywanu Alan drwy ei galon â gwaywffon gyfleus.
Ni ddaw atgyfodiad. Mae’r wlad yn parhau yn wyn â Shêc ‘n’ Fac. O diar.
Saesneg / English
Alan’s resurrection
Saint Dwynwen wants to save Alan, God of the Siagpeil, from the White Queen and the Daughters of the Dawn.
— You will have to kill me, says Alan, who is strapped to a plastic chair.
— What? says Saint Dwynwen.
— You must stuff a piece of carpet into my mouth so that I cannot breathe. As my breath stops, everything will be OK.
— Will you come back to life?
— Dunno, but it sounds exciting, doesn’t it?
— I haven’t come to a Merched y Wawr meeting to satisfy your peccadilloes.
Then, the branch secretary of Merched y Wawr, who has had quite enough of Alan and his chuntering, does the work herself, and stabs Alan through the heart with a convenient javelin.
No resurrection comes. The country remains white with Shake ‘n’ Vac. Oh dear.
