Annwyl Esgob,
Esgusodwch fi, os gwelwch chi’n dda, ond alla i ddim dod draw i roi cynnig ar ymddiheuro, achos:
- Dw i ddim yn gwybod sut i ddefnyddio’r peiriannau tocynnau yn yr orsaf trên.
- Mae fan Daf y gath wedi torri i lawr eto.
- Mae Mistar Penglog wedi brathu fy nhraed, a dw i’n methu cerdded.
- Mae’r glaw yn cwympo drwy do fy sied ac mae rhaid imi achub fy mhapurau pwysig. A ffags.
- Mae Santes Dwynwen wedi gorchuddio popeth â chwstard. Eto.
- Dw i ddim wedi cwblhau croesair heddiw.
- Mae Jeff y gath wedi argàu drws fy sied â bwyd cathod, a dw i’n methu’i adael.
- Mae Franz Kafka wedi codi anobaith arnaf eto.
- Mae’r tatws yn trefnu ymgyrch yn fy erbyn i.
- Dw i wedi bod yn yfed gormod ac mae pen tost arnaf, felly byddai’ch bloeddio yn amhosib dioddef.
- Mae Jeff y gath wedi bwyta’r ymddiheuriadau i gyd.
Hwyl am y tro,
Dewi Sant
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English / Saesneg
The Eleven Excuses of Saint David
Dear Bishop,
Please excuse me, but I can’t come over to try and apologise, because:
- I don’t know how to use the ticket machines in the train station.
- Dave the cat’s van has broken down again.
- Mr. Skull has bitten my feet, and I can’t walk.
- Rain is falling through the roof of my shed and I need to save my important papers. And fags.
- Saint Dwynwen has covered everything in custard. Again.
- I haven’t finished today’s crossword.
- Jeff the cat has blocked the door of my shed with boxes of cat food, and I can’t leave.
- Franz Kafka has made me feel hopeless again.
- The potatoes are organising a campaign against me.
- I have been drinking too much and have a headache, therefore it would be impossible to put up with your shouting.
- Jeff the cat has eaten all the apologies.
Bye for now,
Saint David
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